Expectations

Are you ever amazed at the way the Lord blindsides you with a lesson when you're least expecting it? Last week was one of those times for me. Travis was in Indianapolis for a business trip, the first time we have ever been apart for an entire week in our married life. Leading up to that week, I found myself trying to give myself pep-talks like, "you'll be fine, you can do this, God will be with you, He will provide all you need..." My mom gave me a pearl of wisdom before the week started by sharing with me how she dealt with times when my dad was away, either hunting or working long hours during tax season. She said something to the effect, "I just knew I was it, just got into single mom mode and then I was fine". So that's what I did, got into single mom mode and we did our week. A couple days into the week, something dawned on me, I could do a lot more than I thought I could... and I could keep a positive attitude about it to boot! God was giving me what I needed and then some as I relied on Him. And at the end of each day, when I sunk into our recliner with a sigh, ready to curl up with a book, it was a sigh of satisfaction. I had accomplished, with strength from above, all the work of the day, meals, clean-up, bedtime routines and lived to tell about it. I was begging the Lord for patience and kindness towards the kids each day as I feared that the extra tiredness and stress of being alone would take its toll in those departments. I was abiding in the Vine, I kept my Bible open on the counter at all times so I would be sure to read in it each day, praying throughout the day.

Was it a perfect week? No. Did I stumble? Yes. But God was whispering something to me as the week moved on, wisdom that was for more than just that week. He was teaching me that my expectations are in direct correlation to my attitude and the way I interact with Travis and the kids. When I wasn't expecting Travis's help, I wasn't disappointed when it wasn't there, after all it couldn't be right, he was gone. But that's where God gave me the challenge, what if my misplaced expectations are the root of bitterness and "grumpiness" on a regular basis? What if I was truly able to release some of my expectations, or at least change them, of Travis and the kids in our daily lives? What if I learned what it is to rely only on the Lord to meet my needs instead of being needy and self-focused with Travis? Could it be that he is often feeling burdened by my never-relenting expectations of him? Does he feel like he can never measure up? Do I lay guilt trips, knowingly and unknowingly, when he doesn't meet some unspoken or spoken expectation? Do I play the "woe-is-me" card a lot? Does he feel wrongfully responsible for my happiness? Yuck! I don't want to do those things! Now I have to be careful here. At first glance, it could sound like I'm picking on Travis, that he's not doing much around the house. Quite to the contrary! He is SO incredibly helpful and serving, I often brag about him being my night time hero as he often lets me sleep while he addresses the kid's night time needs. We are partners! But the sad thing is, I think we can often get into the mindset that what our men do is never enough, or we can nitpick the small things while forgetting the huge things they do and are every single day. I often have to ask myself, "how would you feel if Travis was thinking these things about you?" Again, YUCK! But the bottom line lesson I heard last week is that the only way to be truly selfless (and NOT in the pathetic martyr way) is to be filled. And the only one who can fill me is the Savior of my soul, my Creator and Father, Jesus Christ. When He talks about abundant life, I think part of what He means is a life that isn't lacking, that inner soul satisfaction that transcends circumstances or the successes and failures, strengths and weaknesses of another person or ourselves. It is being in a place where we don't expect perfect equality in our relationships, where we're not keeping score so to speak. When we are so filled by His presence and His spirit, when we are bathed in His Word, and when we are infused by a life-giving relationship with Him, only then can we overflow into the lives of those around us and be a blessing rather than that proverbial dripping faucet, only then can we stop being needy and expecting others to make our lives better or easier or more fulfilled. Did I not know this beautiful truth before last week? Well, let's just say head knowledge is different than heart knowledge.

Oh friends, if only it was as easy as one little lesson. Even today, so close to new learning, I have struggled with my expectations. But talking to you all has helped remind me, so thank you for listening. I am praying that God will continue to show me where my expectations need health, that He would continue to call me to Himself each day as I long to abide in the Vine, that He would light the ear candle regularly so I can clearly hear his voice! And even, yes even, that He would continue to bring challenges onto my path so that I am forced to grow. I want to be an overflowing cup! I want to let go of expectations and be a bigger blessing to those I love.

I would love to hear from each of you about how you've struggled and grown in this area of expectations, particularly in your marriages. Keepin it real sisters, trying my best to keep it real! Let's grow together:).

Lunch Ideas

I'm needing some lunch ideas ya'll. I'm talking about for MYSELF...not the kids. They like simple foods, and I've found healthy menus for them that I rotate through, about 4 of them. But for me, on the other hand, I'd like something a little more mature, if you know what I mean. And healthy is what I'm looking for, low on the simple carbs, sugars and saturated fats, high on flavor and all things good for you. Do you have a favorite healthy lunch you make for yourself a lot? Please share:).
Thanks!
Sarah

Chloe and Sawyer

When Emma is at school, some special times are had with my "Roo" and "Monkey". I am having a hard time with Emma being back in school after Christmas break...I miss her so much when she's gone, but on the same token, the household dynamics take on a new feel in her absence that I must say, seems good for Chloe and Sawyer. They play together in ways they don't when big sister is home. These two are close, and it blesses my heart to see the special relationship they are developing. So here, a post devoted to my younger two beauties.

I came upon Sawyer like this the other morning, he had gotten himself in the box all by himself. As you can tell by the next picture, the boy loves boxes!

This was Christmas morning, he was in heaven!

This shot really captures the playfulness between Chloe and Sawyer. I love the shadows their little profiles cast on the tub wall.

We felt like Sawyer was needing some fresh air, so during one of our recent big stores, we bundled him up and straped him in his plastic play off-roader to watch Travis shovel. He was SO ready for a nap, I think he would have fallen asleep in the car if we hadn't gotten him out when we did.

Ah..., the bathing beauty. I love this girl so much!!!

New Beginnings

Happy New Year! For those of you who don't like the notion of New Years resolutions, read no further, but for those of you who have no problem with the notion of creating new goals for a new year, here goes! Towards the end of this year, I have slacked off in a number of areas, this blog included. Perhaps I was distracted by anticipation for the upcoming holidays, but whatever the case, I'm looking forward to fresh perspective and a fresh start.

1. First of all, this blog, I'd like to try to write on here once a week. Nothing profound or book-worthy necessarily, but just my thoughts about life at the moment, maybe just pictures, whatever is floating my boat during any given week. Writing/journaling has always been therapeutic for me and I believe it's part of the way God uses me for His purposes and glory, both in and through me, so more...yes. And here's something less serious, but just as fun! I intend to jump on the give-away bandwagon very soon, so stay tuned!

2. I'd also like to limit my time on facebook. I'm thinking about a certain time limit each day at a certain time. I'm not sure exactly how it will look yet, but I just know I want less time in front of technology this year. The T.V. isn't a big temptation for me, but I'd also like less veg time and more reading time, which leads to my next goal.

3. More time in the Word. I don't think this goal will ever NOT be on my resolution list! I would really like to join a Bible study this year for the added accountability, so if you live in my town and know of some good ones coming up, please let me know. I am also praying that as I dig deeper into God's Word, that it would over-flow into more intentional teaching of the Word to our kids. I'd like to have family scripture memory be part of daily lives, perhaps a monthly verse to memorize.

4. Less sugar, more exercise. Yes, you knew a fitness goal had to be on here;). After all the scrumptious Christmas cookies, I'm planning to cut sugar down big time! Aunt Pam, your peanut clusters are my nemesis! (But I do want the recipe for next Christmas;). On the exercise front, I'm shooting for 30 minutes, 4 times a week at the minimum, but I hope to grow from there.

5. More quality time and shared activities with my main man! We'd really like to venture out, just our little immediate family, on more adventures this year too.

6. I'd like to invest more time and energy into my friendships. My girls are so important to me and I want to love on them better.

7. I'm praying for more of those famous fruits of the spirit in my life. I know they come from abiding in the Vine, so of course, that's where I must start, but I need the Lord for even that step. But I'm really asking for more patience in this role of mothering.

8. The last one I can think of right now is that I'd like to be more real and vulnerable with my brothers and sisters in Christ. I want you all to know the hard right along with the good. Perhaps it's easy to omit some of the hard or less than perfect as I strive, in optimism, to "pump myself up" with what is good and positive on here. But I wouldn't, for a moment (Faith), want anyone to get the impression that life is roses over here all the time or that I don't wrestle with that nasty sin nature every single day. Just because I'm no longer a slave to it, just because I am a new creation in Christ, that doesn't mean I don't fight to live inside this new freedom each and every moment. And boy do I have mountains to learn from each of you! Grace is the name of the game and I want to do more living in it (not to be confused with riding on it;)).

So how bout this, in the spirit of New Years goals, why don't you post some of your own and tell me about it.

Cheers to 2010!
Love, Sarah

Twins Trip to Austin

Here is a scrapbook of my trip to Austin to help my cousin Katie with her newborn twin girls, Mira and Sofia. I also had some special times with her older daughter Luli, but for some reason we missed getting many pics of Luli and I:(. Enjoy!

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

An Affair

Hello Friends! I realize it's been about a month since last I posted. I would say I'm sorry to have been gone for so long, but the truth is, I've been connecting with many of you through another website. You know the one... Facebook. There, I've said it, it's now public knowledge, I've been cheating on my blog with Facebook. It's such an easy way to stay connected with "friends", and brief little chats and status updates rather than essay blogs feels like a better fit at the moment. Have no fear, I shall return to this place I love. It's so much more personal than Facebook and I get to decorate it and most of you know how much I love decorating:). Family life and Christmas activities are bustling around here, business and fun and good things. I check in with all of your blogs from time to time and always love to hear your latest happenings and thoughts. I'll be back, I promise. Love and Merry Christmas to all!

Capturing Beauty

Sometimes, few words are necessary:).
And yes, I took these. Have I mentioned how much I love photography?