21 weeks

Here we have my growing girth at nearly 21 weeks.  Chloe took this picture this morning.  I could nit pick about how puffy and tired my eyes look, but they look that way for a reason due to little sleep last night, so I digress.  Travis and I have been staying up way too late each night watching the Pillars of Earth series and then of course, the kids are up at their normal early time.  The news that a little princess is on her way is sinking in around here, the girls are already calling Autumn by name and are very excited to have a little sister.  I don't think Sawyer really knows what's coming, but I'm banking on his mellow personality to get him through without too many hardships;).  Housework is calling my name at the moment, so until next time...

Indroducing...

Autumn Mae

 Her beautiful profile!

 Showing us her dancing (or soccer) legs

 Little foot

 Hi!

 Here's looking at you

A proud and excited big sister:)!

A Repost- "We hope for YOU!"

I wrote this post at exactly the same point in my pregnancy with Sawyer over two years ago.  It really captured my heart then and truely fits now too, so I thought it was worth a repost:).

For those of you who don't already know, we're having our diagnostic ultrasound this Thursday and yes, we'll be peeking to find out if it's a boy or girl. Going into Thursday, I can't help but feel a sort of pressure that I just have to talk about here. When you have two girls, it seems almost inevitable that everyone assumes you are hoping for a boy, and vice versa if you have two boys. This seems to be especially true since this will most likely be our last, Lord willing of course:). Now while we'd be lying if we said we're not curious what a boy would bring to the mix, what it would be like to parent a child of the opposite sex, I can't say that we're "hoping" for anyone other than exactly who God created in my womb. In our own limited view of our lives, and in our simple human logic, of course we've thought, it would be nice to have a boy. As I've dialogued with Travis about it, we understand how natural it is to desire a child of your own sex, someone "like you", to teach and train in "the ways of man or womanhood". I know that if I had two sons right now, I would be diligently praying for a daughter, but again, that would be in my own wisdom and understanding of what fulfills my life. And don't get me wrong, it's not just Travis who desires a son. I too would love to know that special relationship between mother and son.

But all this brings me to where our hearts are at a mere two days before the big ultrasound. And please know that these are not just words we've convinced ourselves to believe. This is really, truly where God has us, and it feels really good, all glory to Him! We know, that before this little baby in my womb was created, every hair on his/her head was numbered. Every day of their lives was ordained for them before one came to pass. Our precious Father, in His infinite wisdom, even took into consideration our family dynamics. And here's the part that fills my heart to bursting! He decided that Travis and I, full of weaknesses and faults that stretch a mile high, would be just the parents for this little life. That we needed this baby in our journey of growth towards deeper intimacy with Him, and that this baby needs us. Humbling? Incredibly so! And so don't you see? To "hope for" anyone other than exactly who this person is, girl or boy, seems pretty arrogant and silly. Do we really presume to know better than the God of the universe? The God who loves us so much that He sent His own son to die for us? The God who loves us more than any human love can match? Certainly not! We already love this baby, for exactly who they are. Thursday to us is an exciting chance to get to know this little one just a little bit more, and we can't wait! And we can't wait to share our news with you as well.

Baby (insert last name), we want YOU! We hope for YOU! We can't wait to see YOU on that ultrasound screen! Love, Mommy, Daddy, Emma, Chloe, and Sawyer xoxoxo

The Big Week!

I woke up this morning a bit more giddy than typical for a Monday.  Today is a "normal" day, but this Thursday we have our 20 week ultrasound and get to find out just who has been swimming around in my womb for the past 18 weeks!  On one hand, I can't believe it's already here, but on the other hand, I know each day of this week is going to drag by as I anticipate Thursday.  I want to see this little one so bad, to make sure they are healthy first and foremost, but also to see that precious little profile, the little kicks and turns and maybe some thumb sucking:).  And of course, those little parts that reveal our big surprise, the boy or girl news!  We've had people ask us if we're going to wait til the birth to find out since this is number four, but I have to say, we've so enjoyed splitting the surprise between two dates in the past that we have no real desire to wait.  I also love to name our kids at the 20 week ultrasound, this way we get to call them by name for the rest of the pregancy and feel like we know them just that much more when they actually get here. 

We had a wonderful weekend with my mom this past weekend, she came for a fall visit.  Lots of enjoying the outdoors, some Go Fish playing, watching movies, laughing and soaking in our time together.  I also got the chance to take some "professional" pics of her and the kids, they turned out so great!  I can't wait to get some with Connie and Lee and with Grandpa Dan too!  Cousin Lupe had the idea that I should make a collag of all these pics with the grandparents for the kids bedrooms, great idea Lupe!  Here are a sampling of the pics we took.  And I'll be back on Thursday for our big announcement, so stay tuned:).

Giving the Gift of Humility

Sisters, it can be so hard to gauge our "realness" when it comes to the blogging world.  Even in our attempts to be authentic, we can still be seeking praise for our humility, or we can be painting a prettier picture than really exists of ourselves so as not to appear "too bad".  We can even be tempted to explain away our failings or struggles to make it appear that we are somehow justified in our sin.  I realize this may be a heavy topic, but I think it's one we need to talk about.  I believe, with all my heart, that one of the greatest gifts we can give one another, as sisters in Christ, is our own humility.  Do we bless a sister in Christ when we clean our houses to spotless perfection before they come over, after all we claim it's not to impress them, but rather to offer the "utmost in hospitality"?  Personally, I find it more of a blessing to see a sister's house in the midst of real life living.  It reminds me that none of has it all together all the time, and it becomes an extension of God's grace towards me.  So what about our blogs?  Are we painting romantic, "holy" pictures of our lives through pictures and words on our blogs in attempts to "bless and inspire", cleaning house so to speak?  Is that really where the most blessing and inspiration happens?  Or do most of our readers walk away from our blogs feeling less than us and defeated.  In our own insecurity, do we only ever put our best foot forward?  Or maybe we keep it shallow because we are afraid our deep ponderings might bring judgment?  These are all hard questions friends, and I'm still pondering them.  What I do know is that I am most drawn to blogs where people aren't afraid to be humble, to share their REAL  and current struggles, even when they haven't reached the hindsight place where they can see the big lesson.  I'm less drawn to blogs that make me feel like a schmuck because the person always appears to have it all together and always has the perfect, "holy" words to say.  As a writer, I know I've fallen into this trap too, so I'm preachin to the choir girls;).  It's tempting to write a good "story", to paint yourself and your life in the best light possible, but is that the greatest gift I can give those reading my blog?  I really don't think so.  Certainly, God gives me inspiring lessons to share, but honey, sometimes I'm wallowing in the muck and I have to ask myself why I'm not as quick to jump on my blog and share about it.  Don't get me wrong, we all need to have healthy boundaries here.  There are certain issues that have no place on our blogs because they could defame others, or perhaps they just need to stay private because that's best for one reason or another, but I would venture to guess that most of the time, we need to get some of that muck up here to be the greatest blessing to our readers and to get the accountability and encouragement that is such a great blessing to us.  We need to allow God to display His power in our weakness, to use even our struggles with sin for His glory as He draws readers in who can relate and then brings us all to a better place as we link arms in the journey and beg Him for healing, redemption, and wisdom.  In Beth Moore's book, "So Long Insecurity, You've Been a Bad Friend to Us", she talks about how that person who seems to have it together the most is often the one with the greatest insecurities.  When she tries to prove to others her "goodness", she's really trying to convince herself.  But it's GOD who's great friends, not us.  And His greatness is more evident when it's clear that anything good in our lives is from and because of Him, not from our own merit.  Girls, I'm asking you AND me to step out of our comfort zones and get a little more real.  God wants to use us in each others lives in mighty ways, this blogging platform is such a powerful tool and a gift that we've been given.  How are we using this gift friends?  To puff ourselves up or to display God's power and perfection in our weakness and imperfection?

2 Corinthians 12:9- "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

Romans 3:22-24- "This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus."

Proverbs 11:2- "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." 

So I guess it's time for some muck to come up. Let's pray about the struggles God may be prompting us to share and trust Him enough to share them.  Let's give each other the gift of our own humility and watch God's power be made perfect!

A Stolen Moment

Just a few fall pictures for your viewing pleasure:). We've been busy around here, between Emma's school schedule, Chloe's preschool co-op, worship dance on Fridays and all my nesting and normal homemaking activities, I've found it hard to make time for blogging lately. The deep thoughts are brewing, but it seems to be a time for quiet. I love this season , Autumn truly is my favorite time of year, spring being a close second. I can't believe how fast this pregnancy is flying! I'll be 18 weeks on Sunday and we're just a few short weeks away from our big ultrasound and finding out if we'll be meeting a little girl or boy come February (the ultrasound is on Oct. 7th). I've been having lots of "it's a boy" dreams, but I'm not making too much of them since some of them are SO off the wall. I'll go ahead and spill the beans on our name choices as of now. If it's a girl, her name will be Autumn Mae. If it's a boy, he will be Grayson Lee (Lee after Travis's dad). Here's a bare belly pic taken at 16 weeks, I know I'm brave;).
Now this picture just cracks me up! Sawyer has this Mr. Cool face on when there is frankly nothing cool about his appearance. When you're sporting underwear, a camo shirt and your sister's princess helmet, cool just isn't a word to describe you. But cute? Oh yes my son, so cute I want to eat you up!
Here's our little Roo all coordinated in her pink and purple. She's been having fun with her new birthday bike, she feels like a much bigger girl than she did on her big wheel.
And finally, here's a shot of my three darlings enjoying a nice fall dinner on the back porch. We'll soak in as many of these evenings as we can before the snow flies.

Until the next stolen moment...

80 Years

We had the privilege this past Friday to celebrate my Grandpa Dick's (my dad's dad) 80th birthday with him here in CO. This man makes 80 look good, let me tell you! I teased him all weekend that I really hope I inherited his aging genes. He shares a birthday with my dad (who went to be with Jesus when I was sixteen), which was always special for them over the years. Looking into his eyes, his smile, all his expressions, I was able to see glimses of my dad all evening, which made the day all the more special. Thank you, Grandpa, for setting such a great example and passing on such a legacy. We love you and hope we get many more years with you this side of heaven.(78 years between these two handsome men!)