10.5 Week Ultrasound!

Now we've got much more baby to see! It's still pretty vague, but if you had been in the room with us, you would have seen this little one doing a few jumps and spins, it was amazing. If it's your first child or your fifth, seeing your new little one moving around and that tiny heart beating is just captivating. Of course it got both Travis and I wondering if we're having a boy or girl even more. Only 7-9 weeks to go and we'll get to find out! At one point it looked like there was a little protrusion coming off the baby's face/head and Travis asked in horror, "is that the nose?!" The ultrasound tech and I both looked at him with a loving grin, "no, that's the little hand up by the face" the tech told him. I guess with prominant noses on both sides of our family, he was a little nervous:). Anyway, all looks healthy thus far and we are just praising the Lord! Thanks for your continued prayers!Love, Sarah

In His Hands

It may sound like such a strange thing to hear me say that I am thankful for morning sickness, but that is exactly what I'm saying. Isn't it amazing how perspective is everything!? I've had the nausia of pregnancy a little worse this time around than I remember with the girls. It comes every day, at different times and for different reasons. Riding in the car, driving the car, getting too hungry, getting too full, moving around too quickly, eating the wrong foods, sometimes just because. And don't get me wrong, the sensation of the quesiness that often produces the gags or false alarm runs to the bathroom is NOT pleasant, but that doesn't make me any less thankful. I am thankful that for nearly ten weeks now, I have been pregnant with a little life that daily sends me signals of his or her presence in the form of an ill stomach, unstopable tiredness ( I took TWO Naps today!), or a glance in the mirror as I pass realizing that I am ALREADY and very obviously showing.
Fear still knocks at the door, slipping a foot in on some days to hold it ajar, but one quick prayer, sometimes many prayers throughout the day, flood my heart with peace. It is a simple peace, not a guarantee that all is well, not a promise that my heart will never again endure the pain of loss, but a peace in knowing that my God is good and sovereign and loving and purposeful. In my limited view of my life, I behold today. Today, I am pregnant; today I can rejoice! And tomorrow? Tomorrow is unknown, tomorrow is not in my hands. But I am in my Father's hands, as are the details of my life, and those hands can be trusted. Those hands have carried me through many tears of pain and leaps of joy. Sometimes they pull me close to His face, His tears mingled with mine. Other times, they hold me up in the air, letting me fly of the wings of joy, and He smiles and laughs with me! But I can take comfort in the fact that He will never let me slip out of those strong and gentle hands. THAT is where my assurance comes from, my peace, my joy, my hope. If I try to find it in anything else, even those pregnancy symtoms that seem so reassuring, I am looking in the wrong place. These verses came to my heart as I was writing this:


Philippians 4:4-7


Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.



Philippians 4: 12-13


I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Father, thank you for this life You created in my womb! Thank you for the blessings of today. Let my life glorify you, "whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want!" Give me your peace for each new day, "guard my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus!" Amen!

Announcing!

Writing this post has been one of the hardest things I've done in awhile. Every time I want to write it, fear holds me back. But here I am, defeating the fear and telling the world that we are pregnant! Why was I so afraid to publish this post? I don't really know, other than the fact that we recently suffered two miscarriages. But even that seems like a silly reason not to let others share in this joy and hope with us. And what's the worse that can happen? Do I really think that the sting of loss would be any less with fewer people knowing? Certainly not! It would only be more lonely. So here we go! I'm eight weeks, two days along, due Sept. 15th 2008! The morning sickness, or I should say all-day sickness, has been a little worse this time than I remember with the girls, but I'll take any symptom that gives me a little reassurance that all is well. We've already had an early ultrasound and were able to see a heartbeat, which also gave us a little more hope. I have my first official appointment on the 13th, at which point we'll schedule another ultrasound just for peace of mind. Here's a picture of our little one at 6 weeks. It doesn't look like a baby, just a little white mass inside a dark sac, but you get the idea. Thanks for letting us share this with you and we ask that you would pray with us for a healthy, uneventful pregnancy. We are pretty positive that three children feels complete for our family, so I'm really trying to treasure this "last" pregnancy in every way that I can. God is good, and we are daily leaning on Him, giving Him our fears and anxieties, knowing that He has purpose for this little life inside me. Girl or Boy, we feel so blessed by this baby!

Redeeming Love

All I can say about this book is, "Wow!" I finished it in less than two weeks, but it would have been done faster had I had more time. A Christmas gift from my Grandma Jan, thanks a million Grandma! What a beautiful retelling of the story of Hosea and Gomer from the Bible! Fictional, yes, but the Lord will move and speak to your heart through this book. I was lost in and captured by this story from beginning to end. Run, don't walk to you favorite bookstore and check out or buy this book! A much better way to spend February, the "month of love", than with candy hearts and expensive expectations. Oh, and I'm passing this one on to Travis. I know he'll love it too.

Enjoy!

Pictures...Just Because

These cold winter days can get long for this cooped up, SAHM, especially in this family of outdoor lovin people! I mean seriously, when you're in the single digits to low teens all day long, never getting above freezing, romps outside just aren't an option, at least not for longer than a trip to the mailbox. But we shall prevail! The end of March looks sweeter and sweeter each day!

Chloe loves to wear Emma's winter hat around the house and dance on her tippy toes. It's the cutest thing ever, especially when she's just in her onsie and socks!
I really don't know what these two sisters would do without each other. When one is gone, the other is so bored and asks for the other non-stop! I need no further case for siblings, I just can't imagine my kids not having them. Sure makes my life a lot easier too!

This shot of random stuff is most of what I received for Christmas. The Silpat mat and chopping knife are from my sweetie, the butter soft blanket and custom barn wood frame for our wedding picture are from Tyler and Kim. The home herb garden starter kit, and the herb planter too big to show were from Mom and Dan. The hot chocolate mix and "It's a Wonderful Life" movie were from Amber and Tommy, and the amazing Oral-B electric toothbrush was from Connie and Lee. The other items not pictured here are a two fragrance oil burners, one from my friend Anna and another from Danny and Steph and an espresso for two kit from Jer and Monicia. Thank you all! I'm so blessed!

One of Emma's favorite make-believe activities these days is pretend baking and cooking with her play-dough. Above she is grating "cheese".

Her favorite thing to make is cake for my birthday. She measures out her ingredients, even pretends to use the beaters. She can do this for hours literally. Another of her favorite creative activities is cutting and coloring paper.

Fresh from the bath, don't they smell so good!

While I was gone for a couple of hours, this is the scene I came home to. We always put Chloe down for naps in her crib, unless it happens in the car of course, but this is the first time she's slept on the floor. Travis said he had her cuddled up like this and just kept singing her songs. Before he knew it, she was out. Precious.

Me and my baby girl!

Their favorite freezing winter day activity is watching a movie while eating popcorn on the floor. Yes, it makes for more vacuuming, but the cuteness of the whole scene is well worth it!

Little Bride in Training

Emma: "Mommy, when you got married, did you wear a pretty dress at the grand ball?"

Me: "Yes, would you like to see it?!" (I put my wedding dress on, which doesn't zip all the way up anymore by the way:()

Emma: "Oh Mommy! You look so pretty! Can you pretend you are dancing with the prince!?"

Me: "Sure. I'll pretend I'm dancing with Daddy" ( I dance around the room romantically, Emma's face is beaming!)

Emma: "Some day, when I marry Taylor (yes Cindi, that's your Taylor), I'm going to have a pretty dress, except mine will be blue."

Me: "A blue wedding dress would be beautiful Emma!" (I begin taking off my dress and putting it back in the bag.)

Emma: "No Mommy, leave it on all day!"

Me: "I can't sweetie, it will get in my way and get dirty."

Emma: "Then put on another dress Mommy!"

Me: "No more dresses, let's go eat lunch."

Emma: (Sigh) "okay."

A New Year's Ponderings

What is it about New Year's resolutions that are so appealing? As we hang up the new calendar on the wall, it's as if we are mounting hope on that nail. Crisp new pages, squares empty and waiting for appointments and dinner guests. Perhaps we hope a pregnancy due date will appear on one of those squares, a long awaited vacation, the end of a certain job or the beginning of another. Milestones reached, projects accomplished, waistlines trimmed, muscles toned, growth and fruit in our lives produced, the list goes on. Whatever it is, I can't help but notice that in each of us, there is this deep-seeded desire to anticipate and hope for what may lie ahead. Depending on our personalities, it may look different, some the anal planners, some the whimsical adventurists, but regardless of how we get there, the future beckons.

Now we all know we're not supposed to live in the future, wallowing in discontentment or ignorance of the present. We all know that living in the past has it's own smattering of pitfalls and depressors. Balance, balance, balance right! But I'm starting to think there might be some God given purpose to this drive towards tomorrow. God made us right, He even became one of us and then died for our sinfulness and shortcomings as we just celebrated at Christmas. Bottom line, He knows how we work. Could it be that this undeniable pull or push towards bigger and better and deeper and higher is actually there for a reason? Could it be that we are simply and yet profoundly misplacing our aim sometimes? Or maybe those self-improving goals are just fine, but we've missed the purpose of those improvements? Example: Do we desire to lose 10 pounds to look more like that friend we deem so attractive and thus, out of vanity and comparison? Or do we desire to be more fit to be healthier stewards of the bodies God has given us or so we will have more energy to be more effective in the rolls God has given us as parents, spouses, friends, and workers. Same goal perhaps, but the purposes behind it can be oh so different.

A question I want to ask myself as I formulate my goals for the new year is, "How does this goal support the most important goal of loving and knowing my God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength?" And "How does this goal support loving and serving others, laying down selfishness?" I think if we use questions like these as filters for our goals, we will get closer to God's design for goals. And let's not forget we can do NOTHING apart from Him! We cannot forget the importance of abiding in the vine as our most important goal lest we, as branches, wither. We will always wither and fail apart from Him, even if "working towards" a more intimate relationship with Him is one of our goals. And isn't He ever so worthy of that goal! And how bout our hopes? What are we placing our hope in, has hope transformed into dwelling on something that is out of our control? Are we hoping that some possession or life experience is going to make us complete, truly "happy", content? I think we can sometimes do this unknowingly. We may say in our heads, "only intimacy with the Lord can fulfill me." But at the same time, our true hopes can be completely contradictory. I'll share some of my false hopes with you, just to give you an idea. I've been able to identify these by looking at how much time and mental energy I spend dwelling on them.

1. Having another baby

2. More money for "things"

3. Paying off loans

4. Decorations and new paint for my home

5. A weekend getaway with Travis

Can anyone relate? If we are truly honest, we can each fill in these sentences in our own way. "If only ______ I would be happy." "When ______ happens, then I'll be content with my life."

By this point I'm sure you are hoping for;) some wise answer to all these questions. Well, I think God's Word is the best place for us to look, so I'll leave you with some verses I've found that seem to be a good charge for a new year, or any moment of new mercy for that matter. Please share passages and insights you've found as well!

Philippians 3:7-14

"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:8

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

Philippians 4:13

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

Romans 12

"Living Sacrifices
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.
Love
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."